Blind Date to the Torture Dungeon!

Portland Pedicabs gets all sorts of crazy calls! The more creative, the better! We have pedaled Seski the Oregon Sasquatch, a conductor for a rolling bicycle symphony, and the University of Oregon Duck as the Grand Marshall for the Rose Parade!  This pedicab ride was definitely one of the most unusual!

Portland Pedicab Blind Date

Blind Date Pedicab Expedition

We were hired to pedal a young couple, Helen and Ryan, on a blind date!  Their good friend Justin had planned their night.  They had no idea where they were being whisked off to in our Portland Pedicab.  We arrived to the Alameda Brewhouse and announced that our pedicab was to be their chariot for the evening. Of course, Ryan and Helen wanted to know where they were being taken.  I told them, “To the ends of the Earth! Where we are going, you just need to keep an open mind and an open heart.  We are going to learn a lot this evening.”  They were not comforted by this response, but definitely curious!

Once they had finished their drinks and were ready to leave, we departed. Embarking on the longest pedicab ride ever!  In the course of the evening our Portland Pedicab pedaled over 25 miles!  Our stereo serenading them as we pedaled and pedaled.  We rolled through the suburbs and then the exurbs.  It was definitely the frontier of pedicab territory, there were no other tricycles to be seen.  The rare pedestrian would smile widely as they saw our Portland Pedicab roll towards them in this uncharted territory.

The sun had completely set and we continued rolling.  We rolled on bike lanes, Neighborhood Greenways, bike paths, main arterials, sidewalks, everywhere.  We finally approached their destination.  I rolled them up to the door of a nondescript house and told them to ring the doorbell and ask for Mistress Valhalla.

Their jaws dropped.  Unfortunately for Ryan and Helen, we had a timeline to keep.  They needed to ring the doorbell.

Mistress Valhalla's Dungeon and Toys

Mistress Valhalla met us at her door and led us into her Dungeon.  She gave us a tour of her masterfully created and well thought out Dungeon.  She had the finest massage tables and the newest technology in whips and paddles. The most organized and cleanest torture chamber that this rickshaw driver has ever seen!  Justin had thought of all the details when planning this date and had made sure to have a place for myself to watch the exhibition.  What i had been worrying about all night was that Justin and Mistress Valhalla had kindly arranged for me to sit and watch while strapped into the “Bishop’s Chair.”  It was actually more comfortable than i expected.

Helen and Ryan settled into watching Mistress Valhalla demonstrate her various toys on her “slave.”  She also had her slave serve the guests wine and pie that Justin had provided.  They enjoyed the demonstration and their dessert.  Mistress Valhalla was very knowledgeable about her toys and showed them all the different leathers and whether the synthetics were dishwasher safe!

Afterwards, we made a long pedal through the city, again traversing through sidewalks and busy streets; relaxing on the Neighborhood Greenways. We pedaled back towards downtown and they were much more relaxed together now that they had been through the previous experience.

Portland Pedicab Blind Date

Blind Date Pedicab Expedition

I had instructions to give them their next clue: “Diamonds are Forever, make a playlist.” Again, they were confused but happily hoping that the rest of the evening might be more traditional entertainment. The ride was very nice and we slowly made it to Tony Starlights on 37th and Sandy for their final leg of the night, a Neil Diamond Tribute!

It was such fun to pedal this couple in our Portland Pedicab, thanks to the creatively conspiring Justin!

Feel free to leave your comments of shock or congratulations below:


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